being second is easy

today i decide to feed the stray cats that hang out in the alley i use to get to the grocery store. i sling an empty linen bag over my shoulder and toss in a small package of dry cat food i picked up on my last trip. before i leave the kitchen, i decide to open the third drawer down and grab a roll of garbage bags so i can pick up some of the trash that accumulates around the alley.

i think back to this one time when i was casually strolling around town with my sister. we were just chatting about this or that until she noticed a piece of litter on the sidewalk and simply bent down to pick it up. she held it in her hand until we passed by the next garbage bin and nonchalantly tossed it in. she did this without calling any attention to herself, but i noticed and began doing the same thing. our conversation wasn’t disrupted, nor was our energy depleted. we simply played a small role in solving a communal issue while we continued our walk. this shifted something in my mind and has since made a big task seem a lot less daunting.

i put my shoes on and shuffle my current favorite artists in my headphones as i walk out the door. it isn’t until i am out on the street that i realize what a beautiful day it is. warm and sunny, very unlike the recent climate in my area. only a minute outside and i am already feeling better. i am not even beyond my building before i begin noticing the first pieces of litter.

i reach into my linen bag and pull out the roll of plastic ones. i bend down to begin grabbing some obvious plastic containers and wrappers but hesitate when it comes to things that are paper or wet or mixed with biomatter. the voices in my head talk over one another as people pass by me in either direction. this is weird. why are you doing this? other people find this weird. they’re probably talking about you. how much will this even help? i finally quiet them by saying, “1% better is still better. anything i do today will be a step in the right direction.” it’s okay if i leave some things behind. just picking up some plastic is helping. it took time and many people to create this issue, and i am not responsible for solving it alone and all at once. do what you can, i remind myself.

by the time i reach the alley, i have already filled a bag. i set it down and go to pull out the cat food. before i even have the packet in my grasp, i hear the first meow. how did they know. i pour some food into a discarded tin nearby and back off. more cats appear. i work around them, feeding where i can and picking up trash where i can. the tasks blur together. feed a little. clean a little. repeat.

eventually, i carry several full bags up to the road and walk them to the nearest public bins. on my way back, i notice another bottle on the stairs that i thought i had cleared. or maybe i hadn’t gone far enough before the bag was full. could this have just happened? and moreover, do i open a new bag for one single bottle? i decide i should. that i can just take the bag home with me.

as i begin to descend the hill home, just beyond the cats, i notice another area full of litter. this would easily fill more bags, i think. i guess if you give a mouse a cookie, expect to use the whole roll of garbage bags.

besides, the day is beautiful and i have nowhere to be. i am already here. my hands are already dirty. so i approach the next pile and fill another bag. and then another. across the way i spot even more trash that i could worry about but remind myself again that 1% better is better. and 7% better is certainly better. i could forever chase 8 and 9 and 10 percent, but today i had 7 to give, so 7 i gave.

once the ground in front of me is mostly clear, my thoughts shift from the trash itself to the behavior around it. i get to thinking about how it’s probably so much easier for people to add to an already formed pile. after all, what’s another bottle? but it must be a little harder to be the first. to pollute or taint a clean curb, shrub, or garden.

it’s not always easy to start things, but it is easy to follow. my mom always said, “bad company corrupts good morals.” you just have to be around the bad for it to become normalized, and soon enough you’re an active participant. but that made me think of why i was here in the first place. wasn’t it the influence of my sister that showed me how easy it is to do a little? to give what i can?

and isn’t that the reason i came out here to feed the cats at all? because i read a book a few months ago called Poet’s Square about a young woman who had a heart to take care of neglected cats. or because of my friend who routinely fosters animals. whether she cares for them for a weekend or several months, she contributes how she can. those behaviors were infectious. my going out and ability to silence the critical inner voices was due to similar behavior being normalized within my circle.

i once saw a video where a road was blocked by a fallen tree, its branches splayed across the road, jamming up traffic. a car or two weaseled around it, until one woman got out to simply move the damn thing. almost instantly, others joined her. all it took was one person to act. starting is often the most socially risky part, and once someone absorbs that risk, others follow without friction.

of course, we have to be mindful of groupthink and not simply follow the flow of the river. sometimes the norm needs pushback. but i think we often fail to realize that our actions can have a cascading effect. i can be the one to start the chain. and if no chain follows, no loss. at least i picked up a few pieces of trash. or fed a few cats. or cleared a path for the people behind me. people who would inevitably come across the same issue unless someone solved it.

and sure, we can talk about how littering is a systemic issue that shouldn’t happen in the first place. but in the meantime, maybe the banal task of routine cleaning is what slowly shifts a cultural mentality.

hope is contagious.
and your actions and beliefs certainly have an impact on those around you.